Hey Soul Sister

….ok so I still can’t get that Travis song out of my head!

Well…the worst part of this whole process for me is the waiting waiting waiting.  This month we took matters into our own hands and I currently have 2 10 dollar sticks just waiting for me to pee on.    I don’t hold out much hope and am sure will be back at the clinic for the next cycle.

I feel like I just jinxed things by typing that sentence.  The superstition is growing and growing in tandem with my non-expanding womb.  I haven’t talked about it much lately even with my close friends.  It feels like a sore on my gum—and I keep probing it and then quickly stop.  I think about what we are trying to achieve and then quickly switch it off.  I’m afraid that if nothing happens I won’t know what to do next.  My identity is wrapped up in stress, worry and brief moments of freaking out.  It’s pathetic but who will I be if I switch all of that off.

On the bright side I’m having  Stella and Dot party….yay me and shiny things!

What’s new in your world?


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