Hold me closer

ok so where were we….

Oh that’s right, back in the familiar territory of heartache and despair. 

March 21st we went for IUI# 4 (natural cycle) and joy of joys it worked!  Positive pregnancy test, went for the blood test on April 8th and then got the results on April 9th.  BAD news, the blood test results were not good, the beta number was low.  The nurse told me it could be a late implantation or I could be at risk of an ectopic pregnancy.  I just knew it meant it had not worked and I should start bleeding soon.  Yep, April 11th started bleeding. 

So now what?  I’ve emailed our doctor and hopefully we can get in to see her to discuss what to do next. 5th times a charm?  Isn’t that the new saying?

I find it so incredibly hard to talk about this…  I’m sad, tired and optimistic as well.  I think it’s the hope followed by crushing disappointment that’s going to do me in in the end.


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