Who knew my chiropractor had a degree in reproductive medicine?

Yes, that is a sarcastic question.

I went to see my chiropractor yesterday for my regularly scheduled appointment (every 3 weeks) and I was in a fair amount of pain.  Segue, I have scoliosis and fibromyalgia and so suffer a bit with chronic pain, the chiropractor appointments really help with this.  She asked me how I was and I told her we are back on the baby making train and I’m currently on progesterone.  She then began to lecture me about how much stress women are under and the strain this puts our bodies under – we are now in “flight or fight” mode.  The hormones are not helping me deal with the stress naturally and the best thing for me to do to get pregnant is reduce my stress by quitting my job and then I should have no problems getting pregnant.  I could not be bothered educating her on this matter but I COULD not believe her borderline rudeness (she knows about our losses) and borderline ignorance.

The only good to come out of this is my back isn’t hurting as much today.  Next time I might grow a backbone (HA HA) and tell her to suck it.

On another note, the prunes are working, hallelujah, the prunes are working.


completely facetious

You know what’s suffering the most during this bumpy road we find ourselves on?  You’re not going to believe me when I say that it’s….

My eyebrows

Yes, my vanity has surfaced and I’ve admitted that as I now no longer visit my esthetician to wax my vajayjay my eyebrows have been sorely neglected and I need to find a regular esthetician to take care of the forest that grows on top of my eyes.  I can’t go to my regular because she always asks who’s taking care of the bush growing below.  She once asked me if I had mediterranean blood in me as she studied my pubes.  It made for a hilarious, if painful waxing appointment.

This weekend I managed to get myself in for a haircut and stopped in at a nail salon that also does waxing and took a gamble that they could do a half decent job of waxing my eyebrows.  I must admit they look ok but it wasn’t the spa experience I usually get with the pretreatment cream and it was a tiny bit dirty in there.  So, I need to find an eyebrow waxer. 

And that’s what I’m focusing on as my biggest problem – it works to keep me distracted.

You get to make a guest appearance on any TV show of your choice. What’ll it be?

Girl in a Wetsuit statue, Stanley Park

Image via Wikipedia

House for sure!  I’d love for him to read all my medical records and diagnose me.

Today we went for a massive bike ride from our house all the way around Stanley Park.  The weather was spectacular and it was such a beautiful day.  We’ve been staying on the eating healthy path and managed to get more fruits down our neck today.

My BFF and her husband is having a naming ceremony for their daughter and she’s asked me to be a 2nd godmother to her child (her sister and brother in law will be the godmother/guardians).  I was very touched and honoured to have been asked this.  This will be the 2nd child I have been asked to do this for.  We were asked last year to be guardians by the first couple and were absolutely delighted to say yes.  Selfishly now though, my wish is to become a parent next.

Today I was in such a good place and state of mind and then something flashed across the front of my brain.  “When will this end, when will the sadness strike again”?  I quickly pushed this fleeting thought out of my mind but it shook me.  I wonder if I pretend to be ok and when the feelings of sadness, loneliness and despair come, I wonder if that’s the true me but I know it’s not acceptable to feel that and then just push it away and try to pretend to be “normal”?  I wonder if Dr. House could diagnose that.

I think I know the answer to when this will end – in 2 weeks less a day.  I feel guilty even just writing that.  I should be thinking positive otherwise the negative energy I put out there will come back to me.  However, on a different vein if I’m too positive and wishful for a pregnancy (and yes I’ve already calculated the due date) then the universe will come back and bite me for overstepping my bounds.  Whichever way you look at if I’ve completely jinxed the whole thing and made it worse by formulating these thoughts into writing.  Sometimes I don’t even realize these frenetic thoughts are there until I start typing and a swoosh of something takes over me and this desperate feeling rises to the surface and floods of feelings come out.  A lethal cocktail of hope, despair and worry – it makes for a killer hangover.

I have to find balance and get back to the positive.  I’m grateful for this outlet.  I’m happy to have spent a wonderful weekend with my husband in the gorgeous weather.  Our lives are happy, healthy and we have joy together.  Focus on the positive.

glimpses of laughter are treasured along the road

7:30 AM rolled around bright an early Friday morning and off we went for the LH blood test.  I got a call that afternoon to say I was surging (day 14) and off to the clinic we should go on Saturday.

Saturday rolled around and I was bound and determined to remain calm and as relaxed as possible.  DH and I had spoken about this issue of me getting stressed, wound up and just very tightly strung as we are ramping up again.  The 3 month break was great for us just to get some equilibrium but he mentioned that he saw tinges of the crazy being awoken in me again as we get closer to the IUI, the TWW and then the POAS.  So all that to say that I’ve made a conscious effort to remain a bit more in control, make sure I stay healthy diet wise and this also helps my mental health.

The visit to the clinic was probably the easiest one yet.  It was with a nurse I hadn’t met before and I was nervous but trying to stay calm.  I was surprised how little this IUI hurt.  I’ve had one before that reduced me to tears it was so painful.  The nurse mentioned that she put some gel on the speculum and it made all the difference.  I also read in my Pre-Seed book that you can use some of the product before an IUI to assist with the speculum which makes so much sense and something I wish I knew about before.

I was chatting with the nurse about our history and afterwords she asked if we needed a lab requisition for the beta testing and I said yes we need one please.  She said to test around 17 days after the procedure so around the 12 or 13 of Sept.  I said I’d be in first thing on the 12th and she said “I thought you might” and we had a little chuckle about it.  See, I can laugh at my crazy.

Today I’ve kept things nice and light and ate really healthy.  DH has been lovely and we’ve just decided to keep it as low key as we can.  I’ve picked up the progesterone and am not looking forward to the constipation they bring.  We went to the grocery store (how fascinating is this?) and I was rubbing my stomach and loudly wondering to DH where the prunes were.  I started laughing at myself and then he said SUPER loudly “why, is it for your constipation?”  At least we find ourselves entertaining.

On another note and something that COMPLETELY made my life… Mel of Stirrup Queens mentioned me on her Friday roundup.  Talk about being completely blown away.  Thank you to all who stopped by and took the time to read more and my post that she featured.  Your support and well wishes mean the world to me.  I am very grateful for your kind words.  I can be quite shy IRL when I’m getting to know people so this really made me glow inside.

And now we wait.

the tide is high but I’m holding on

Whole green beans in a carton.

Image via Wikipedia

So, blood test down.  Now waiting for the nurse’s call.  Got the script for progesterone and bought some Pre-Seed

I feel like I’m accomplishing stuff!  I even cooked dinner last night.  We had baked halibut, oven chips and organic green beans.  First time I’d ever

a) bought green beans and

b) cooked green beans

…..and they were DELIGHTFUL!  I felt like a true grown up and cracked open a nice bottle of white and drank exactly 1/4 of a glass.  After work last night, I went into the local grocery shop in our neighbourhood which has lovely and organic food but it is SO expensive that you drop a mortgage payment in there for milk, eggs and produce.  So I was pleasantly surprised to see organic produce on sale and I purchased a good sized bunch of beans on a gamble (who knew if we’d like them) and they were $0.98.  WHAT?  I think it’s the cheapest thing I’ve ever bought in there.  We even managed to clean the kitchen and put the giant pile of clean laundry away.  Stella’s gettin’ her groove back y’all.

I’m meeting my good friend for lunch today and meeting her new baby girl.  Yesterday I picked up the cutest little outfit for her at Baby Gap and surprisingly it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  I completely avoided the boy section though.

This weekend we have ZERO plans as we just want to rest and relax.  I may even try to hit up a Pilates class.  What are you all up to this weekend?




Appointment #5 trillion

So remember how in April  Dr. H. suggested that I go to the Repeat Pregnancy Loss clinic here in town and said he’d referred me?  Well once I got back on the chasing baby train after May, June and July break I emailed him to let him know that

a) we would schedule an IUI and I’d phone the nurses line to book once CD 1 arrived

b) should I take progesterone again? (his answer was yes, and I’ll pick up the prescription when we go in for the blood test)

c) how is that referral coming?

Well I emailed again yesterday to say I hadn’t heard from the clinic and then the next thing the clinic is calling me to say they had a cancellation and could I go next week?  Um, yes please.

So, it’s all happening next week.  Well, Friday testing for ovulation and then next week chiropractor, acupuncture (yes, I finished my 7 page form and sent it in) and IUI.  Then a little mini break and fishing trip.  Should be fun and eliminate some stress and allow the embryo to burrow into my lining and 40 weeks later out pops a baby or even two if we’re entering wishful thinking land.

This week is still not over though and tomorrow I’m meeting a former colleague for lunch who’s back at work now after maternity leave from her third child.  This was an accidental pregnancy.  I don’t even understand that phrase, how do you accidentally get pregnant with a THIRD?  Then lunch on Friday with a bestie who’s on maternity leave with her second that “happened too quickly” yep, that’s a quote as well.  Better get to Baby Gap tomorrow.

My left ovary/side has been hurting for the past two days.  It’s starting to wear me down.  I hope I don’t have another cyst.  And I also hope I’m not ovulating from that side as it will make this cycle a bust.

Thinking positive though I’m happy that things are moving along and not too much longer to wait until something is happening.