Happy non-mother’s day to me

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Happy mother’s day – one of the harder days for me. Even though lately we have been enjoying the child-free route that we have been taking, this still is one of the harder days for me. I feel like posting something on my facebook, but that would just make others feel bad which is not what I’m in too.

I’m actively still trying to maintain peace and harmony in my life, but days like these remind me how far I need to go. The wound isn’t sore and open any more, but I can feel the rain in the air.

Its hard to find energy on days like today to maintain the positive energy I try to keep burning inside me.

Top ten

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Inspired by April’s post and I left this in her comments, so kind of a cheater blog post, much like dinner from a can:

Top 10 List of songs you can listen to whenever wherever:

1 Dancing in the Dark, The Boss
2 Starlight, Muse
3 Baba O’Riley, The Who
4 Poison, Alice Cooper
5 Sweet Child of Mine, Guns N Roses
6 Walk, Foo Fighters
7 Set Fire to the Rain, Adele
8 Tiny Dancer, Elton John
9 Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
10. More Life in A Tramps Vest , Stereophonics

Top 10 dream vacation destinations

1. Cruise around Tahiti

2. Backpack Vietnam and get handmade shoes

3. Rome and fountain visiting

4. Greece

5. Road trip southern USA states

6. Ohio – for the roller coaster place

7. Egypt and pyramid glory

8. Anne of Green Gables house, PEI

9. Atlantis, Bahamas (waterslide mania)

10. West Edmonton Mall – roll on March baby!

 

Does anybody know…

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….is dried fruit bad for you?  I just discovered dried strawberries…and oh mahhh lands are they delish to the nishiousness

I think they must be bad for me because sadly they do have added sugar.   boo

What did I do to find peace today?  I caught up with some people and saw my cute niece on skype.  I also enjoyed the spectacular scenery we are having up in the North with clear blue skies, sunny days and glittery snow.

ImageWhat about you?

What scares you the most?

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The latest fear I’m working to over come is the thought of living child free.  The one thing I keep thinking about is who will put me in a home when I’m old and who will visit me.

I have some elderly aunts, two of which never married.  They are reaching the end of their lives and when I think about it I get uncomfortable.  How selfish is that?  They living another country far away otherwise I would visit more often.

I vacillate between being grateful for having no children (see exhibit A) which has also allowed me some career success and greater freedom of movement and then to feeling extremely broody and thinking I may be missing out on raising some fantastic children and growing and developing a family that I wish I had.  I often think the one relationship that I’m craving and searching for is the one between mother and child/ren.

2012 was a painful year.  One with many bumps, changes and lots of challenges.  I feel like I’m emerging from a crazy rollercoaster and now ready for some peace along a slow meandering river.  I knew at the beginning of 2012 that it would be one of change and I deliberately kicked it off by dyeing my hair blonde.  It seemed a small thing but I knew that the year was going to be crazy.  And it was.

2013 I am hoping for peace, love and smooth sailings.  I am searching for a safe harbour and less stress in my life.  I want to avoid toxic environments and stale waters.  I want to bring more harmony, love and peace to others around me and in turn replenish my own source.  I hope for great things but most of all I hope for peace.

Happy new year to you and your loved ones.  I wish you all the very best for 2013.

Caribbean cruise - Exhibit A

Caribbean cruise – Exhibit A